bettercallit | (no subject)

[ Stiles looks up sharply, eyes wide, lip already being worried between his teeth. ] I - no? I don't think so. [ But there's something underneath all of that, a yearning to get to know Derek better, to understand. He can kind of get why people keep asking. ] You're like the third person to bring that up within a week, bro.

[ Huffing. ] Derek's Derek. He's just this hilariously terrifying guy who occasionally puts himself through shit for other people. But I'm not - he's familiar.

[ Even if Stiles is pretty sure he's batting for both sides now, he hasn't entertained the idea of Derek. ]

[ He was partly being sarcastic, but he's got eyes, and he knows that there's something going on there if not that. ]

Well, I can't say I'm sorry to hear that, you're better off staying away there. A guy like him, he's not good to get mixed up with unless you've got no other choice. Trust me, I know.

[ But there's still the question of why he was forced together with him, one that he's holding onto. One thing at a time, and he respects privacy; he hopes Stiles will tell him in his own time if he needs to. ]

I haven't got any other choice. [ Derek or death. Derek or watching his town fall apart. Except back home he's supposed to stay away, isn't he? Because he's not pack, he's Scott's if anything else and he and Derek are in two different worlds.

Except for when they save each other.

That tends to happen a lot. ] I promise I'm okay. Derek won't do anything to me. Not anything serious. He just doesn't know how to behave like a human being sometimes.

Edited 2012-11-19 22:50 (UTC)

There's always a choice. [ But he's got to admit, Stiles is in tact, safe and well, and if Derek posed any real threat he's thinking that wouldn't exactly be the case. Better with him than without if whatever it is that put them together is something worse.

Putting down his empty mug. ] You mean he actually acts human sometimes? Love to see that. But if you're sure you're good with whatever it is that's going on? Then I'll have to accept that. But I'm always here if you ever need anything, you got that?

[ He looks like he's weighing something up for a moment. ]

I wanted to talk to you about something completely un-Derek related. But I will wait for delicious pizza. Cheese overdose is totally going to make it much easier.

[ As if on cue, there's a knock on the door and he grins, jumping up. ]

Hold that thought.

[ He disappears to go answer it, returning a few minutes later with an extra large pizza, dropping it on the counter. He grabs a couple of cans of coke from the fridge to wash it down with. ]

[ It smells good, and the arrival of it immediately disperses the awkwardness Stiles may have been feeling about how everyone assumes they're dating, how he'd tried to talk to Derek about it first and got shut down. People tend to forget that being almost seventeen is hard.

Being almost seventeen and fighting for your life on a daily basis? Even worse. ] That smells awesome.

[ Skipping plates, Clint flips the lid of the box, resettles back on the stool to the counter. ]

Dig in.

[ He's still watching him, but more subtly this time, less pointedly, and with a softer look in his eyes, Derek pushed to the side of his thoughts. He grabs a slice, stomach grumbling at the smell alone, and takes a large bite, swallowing it down. ]

So what'd you wanna talk to me about?

If you don't want to talk about it we totally don't have to. [ Looking down at his slice of pizza, fingers picking pepperoni off it to eat like that. ]

I just - I guess I wanted to know if you and - and Phil - if you guys were ... [ Huff. Asking a guy if he's gay is hard. ] You know what, it doesn't matter.

[ There's a brief moment of panic, rare, but he covers up the fact he freezes quick enough, ignoring the way his heart is beating faster and blood in pounding in his ears. It's Stiles, and there's no rules, no protocol here, which means no reason to keep it the secret he thought it was.

He swallows his mouthful, the half-eaten slice lowering to the counter, dangling lamely in his hand, and he takes in a deep breath, releasing it slowly to compose himself. ]

If you're getting at what I think you are, then - [ He shrugs, like it's no big deal. ] - sure.

Oh. [ Well.

It's the answer he wants to the question he has but he feels guilty all of a sudden for bringing it up. Phil's gone and they were clearly together and he shouldn't ask him. ]

I'm sorry.

[ With another shrug, Clint reaches for the can and drags it closer, the cling of it being opened seemingly louder than it should be in the quiet room, and he fiddles with the clip. ]

We didn't make a huge announcement or anything, too used to keeping personal stuff private, but it's not like it was a secret, not really.

[ He does wonder if it's an issue, but as he manages to look at him, he feels bad for the thought. ] What makes you ask?

I -. [ Shrugging his shoulders and shoving his pizza into his mouth. He chews for a minute, buying him time. ]

I just wanted to know. It's nice, y'know, you were -. [ Fidgeting now: ]

[ Lowering his gaze, Clint nods, a wistful smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. ]

Years of working together and it's this place that gave us the chance to deal with how we felt.

[ He should've known it was too good to be true, but he's got the memories, and those are more than he had before. ]

[ A swig of his coke, Stiles' movements all nervous energy and wound up tight emotion. His head is cocked to the side, listening to what Clint has to say. ]

So the spy game has Don't Ask, Don't Tell?

Not sure about that, but there's definitely protocols on in-house relationships between handlers and assets when there's life and death situations around the corner. Phil always loved reciting the protocols as a form of torture, not that it ever really was, but it was enough that I never went there.

[ He shrugs again, a habit that's not quite a tell because he does it so much, but he definitely feels weird discussing it, though not necessarily bad, and it doesn't escape his notice that there's discomfort. ]

[ Stiles nods, completely unaware that Clint's reading into this, that he might be coming off as vaguely phobic. It's a problem - he's nervous for entirely different reasons but his hyperactivity can't be tamed. ]

Okay.

[ He takes a bite of pizza, not really tasting it as he chews it down, and then he gives up on it again. ]

Don't let it tarnish your memories of him, he was a good man, and I don't want to be the reason for that.

What? [ His head jerks up at that, wide-eyed, like a deer caught in the headlights. ] Why would -?

[ Realization hits like a twist in the gut. ] I'm not homophobic!

[ It's Stiles, so he kind of knew, really, but that doesn't mean it's not weird for him, uncomfortable to learn, and it doesn't explain the tension.

He's looking at him, trying to get a better read on what he's missing. ] So what's with the awkward thing? 'Cause if it's bringing him up, don't worry about it. [ He waits for a reaction to see if that seems to be it or not. ]

[ A short sharp shake of his head. ]

You're just the uh - only one I know who's into that. [ Fingers tugging on the button of his plaid shirt.

And then all in a rush. ] Okay there's Danny but Danny's not here and he hates me and I probably couldn't go to him and ask anyway because he'd tell Jackson and Jackson might flush my head down a toilet and I'm not really sure either way, y'know? So I'd end up asking with like zero certainty and it would be awful. Much like this whole conversation is going. So I will shut up now.

[ Into that. He struggles to keep the touch of amusement from showing through, still curious, a little concerned, but the phrasing is a new one.

Listening, Clint's actually interested in the slight insight into the life he's got wherever he's from, how normal it sounds, whatever that means. But he picks out the important part of the explanation, voice softening, encouraging. ]

Well, Jackson sounds like a dick, and hats off to Danny, but getting to the point: ask what?

Uh.

[ Okay now he's full on fidgeting, fingers running under the collar of his t-shirt and tugging it a little. ] Howdidyouknow?

[ He open his mouth, but closes it again, the teasing remark so close to slipping out, but he catches himself in time. He should be serious about this if he can't be about everything else.

In case. ]

How did I know that the door opened more than one way? [ He shrugs, taking a moment to actually consider it. ] Just kind of knew, you know?

No. [ It comes out a little lost. Stiles doesn't actually know what he feels. Which might be his problem entirely. }